high people should be assigned attendants
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
