Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
