I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Randomize
