Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
