Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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