I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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