and she was petting her beer can
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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