He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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