whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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