When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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