I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
The uberlube is also flammable
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Randomize
