This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
