Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
