You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
