margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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