Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
