We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
