I cockslap morals
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
