also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
