when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
