i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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