was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
