I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
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