Why is your signature on my underwear?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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