He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
