so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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