Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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