sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
