It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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