Im at strip club and am horny
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
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