Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
