I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Randomize
