i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
