a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He better not be in your backpack
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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