my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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