my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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