I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
