Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
