Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
wow bdsm is so cute
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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