oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
