For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
