Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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