i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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