It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
