You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You may now shotgun with the bride
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Pants are for mortals
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
