I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize
