All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Randomize
