Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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