the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
