Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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