my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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