So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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