Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
